Showing 1-15 of 100 comments . He takes careful aim, swings, and misses. No matter how resilient they made the engines, they always failed. Feb 28, 2015 @ 5:43pm my profile art. ... and the Elysée Palace’s staff was on strike. What people don't understand though is that Gandhi was actually a very temperamental man, and prone to anger. Because lightning strikes the highest object. — Two French women are chitchatting from their opened window in one of those typical big suburban popular buildings. Read more. She went into a trance and, after a few moments, said "I'm communing with your father.". "Strike One!" He moves from table to table chatting up the ladies, but nobody is interested. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Didn’t they just strike last month? The officer asks him, "Name?". French rail workers go on strike as disputes over labour laws spread. A homeless man starts speaking to a young lady in a bar one night. The excited pair walk back through the tree lined boulevards and on the way, Pierre drops in to a shop to purchase a bottle of red wine, a bottle of white wine, a bottle of brandy and a box of matches. A few minutes had passed and the whole trip had been quiet ever since. But when the King of the Czech lands gave his eyewitness, They fish quite happily for a while until the German catches a huge golden fish, but as he plls it off the hook it says ‟Please do not kill me! ... "It is a joke." On his first day of school his teacher asks him "what is your name?". A doctor comes in and says,"I've got some bad news. In this article, I’ll give you a good sample of French jokes for all audience: kids will enjoy them as much as adults. However, they arrived several hours early, and had little to do on Sunday morning while everything was closed. "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? ", The guy asks him: “So how many of the 7 seas have you sailed?”. The girlfriend leans over to The Red Baron and says, "Baron kiss me!" I thought someone was taking pictures of me masturbating. "It's very uncomfortable at first, you get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. Meticulous in attention to detail: A nitpicker. The cannibal leader steps forward and states ‟It’sn’thing against you men. A guy is sitting in an ER waiting room. "Well isn't he beautiful" Says the bartender. Jokes in French are also a door into French culture. But for some reason, I can only be a spectator. Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" There were once four powerful witch covens: the witches of the mountains, the deserts, the forests, and the seas. says the first. Feb 28, 2015 @ 5:42pm Anyone with CSGO Jokes? Britain recomm. The most frequent " ethnic jokes " in France are jokes about Belgians (supposed to be stupid), or about Southerners (supposed to be lazy, in "Marius et Olive" or Corsican stories) or Auvergnats (supposed to be cheap). The psychologist starts: "We lowered underage crime by over 20% in the last year, mostly by introducing counseling courses, and social assistance programs. Following is our collection of Lightning jokes which are very funny. The $20 and the $1 Joke. Two Frenchmen are going for a walk one day, when they happen upon a swimming pool filled entirely to the brim with loaves of bread. One says to the other: “Hey, Ginette, did you see the news at the TV today? It looks like you're not going to make it. We all have been raised cannibals and need to eat. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. The homeless man replies, "I had a major in Biotechnology an. ... Two men are standing at the urinal, doing their business, when one starts to strike up a conversation. Trump : WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE ARE NOT SENDING THE TROOPS???? They all form a superhero trio, and try to stop villains from all over the world. Knock Knock Who's there? Frenc, "As soon as your dates arrive," said the farmer, "I will talk to them personally. The demon said that he is going to eat them. He's standing at the urinal and notices a very short guy at the urinal next to him. The butcher scoffs and is about to throw the note away until he takes another look at the dog, who is now ho. "Excuse me, sir, do you happen to be Jewish?" He ties himself in a knot and messes his hair up. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. On an unrelated note, there's recently been an increase in the sales of spades. "How'd you die?" For a thousand years they made war with one another, casting curses and hexes and bringing all manner of malady to the land in their hatred for one another. a track suit is le jogging. It concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the man with more pleasure during sex. It is calculated that it will strike France at 2:30 in the morning in two days. A big list of bowling jokes! Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. Two friends are watching the news on the accident. They say the Russians are coming.” U.S. Armed Services recruiting efforts are slipping. The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully. Feb 28, 2015 @ 5:45pm 1. It doesn't matter, he says, just get the fuck out! He sees a group of rough rider lookin' scoundrels playing poker and he musters up enough courage to sit down with 'em (thinkin' he might get a story out if he was lucky). Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome". We thought we would try to share as many with you as possible. Not a desk person: Did not go to college. There was a man in France who drove a train for a living. The driver then started to head to the location designated by the passenger. 8 The French always surrender. "I've got a great policeman joke. The train goes into a tunnel and the lights flicker out. The US military command posted a tweet and press release about a botched airstrike on a Al-Shabaab target in Somalia, saying Al-Shabaab had … Spare my life and I will grant you all a wish!”. Some of the emails were hilarious but this one from a Swiss was a winner. I asked the sales guy “Do you have a PS4” but that idiot kept saying “Wii”, During the pre-dinner small talk, president Truman's wife Bess asks Charles De Gaulle's wife Yvonne, "Now the war is over, what is your greatest wish?". a bowling alley is le bowling. She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book. The butcher, amused, grabs the note and reads it. He is shown several possibilities that range from £50 to £150 in price, the more see-through, the higher the price. They have been blamed for the deaths of millions and have caused significant damage to infrastructure over the years. Hello all, anyone with CSGO jokes? A sudden thought strikes him. They've advertised, offered college money, granted large bonuses to new recruits... all to no avail. He also said that they can wish for any one thing to protect themselves against the whip. When suddenly a cannibal tribe captures them. The Count turned to leap on them, then reeled back, repelled at the reek of garlic that wafted from them like a solid thing. But being in good mood he gave them chance to escape death and go home, should they pass his test: survive three strikes of his whip. There's a triangular lake, with three kingdoms on each side of the triangle. ... Volcano And Lava Jokes. A French public servant from Provence is banished to the far North. ', A priest is playing darts. He walks to the door and sees a golden retriever with a note in its mouth. To which he politely responds, "My name is Abdul and I am from Syria (Middle-East accent)..She abruptly stops him and corrects him. 10 The French always eat gourmet meals. A man walks into a sex shop to purchase smoe see-through lingerie for his wife. Hogarth. The guy next to him is complaining because he has a sliver of metal in his eye. But you can choose how you die. Two American men are touring Europe, and are scheduled to arrive in France Sunday afternoon. ... a French man, a Spanish man and a German man are standing on the sidewalk, trying to watch a street performer juggle bowling pins. Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Her friend asked, "What's the capital of France?". Time Stopped. Some of the best pranks should be artisanal, carefully crafted for the person on the receiving end. Counter-Strike: Global Offensive > General Discussions > Topic Details. They were all hanging at the SuperBase, when an emergency alarm went off. Instead of asking “What is it?” as I had intended, I’d asked “Who is it?”. In the dark, there’s a loud *slap! Two well worn bills arrived at the Federal Reserve Bank to be retired - a twenty and a one. Parton who? As Alfred Hitchcock once said, "puns are the highest form of literature". On average, very large earthquakes strike about once a year. She happily agrees and thus, the contract is sealed. Alone Soul. A man walks up to the counter and says “One vodka please!”. The medical field in 2021 hasn’t been the most hopeful space this year, but if there’s anything that brightens a mood, it’s a corny joke.In addition to being experts in medicine, doctors are also specialists of comfort, which means they always have the best jokes. The farmer drops down in despair. ", An old west dime novel writer is out looking for a good story when he wanders into a saloon. He IS French, people." There’s loads of them”. French teachers who spoke to the ... “What happened during the first lockdown was just an absolute joke: we had nothing to work with. The bear froze. French investigators were baffled by this object for hours. Were Adam and Eve Brits, French or Russian? After months of testing, they gave up and sent for a European engineer to advise on what wad wrong.<, That Saturday, Mr. Johnson arrived at exactly 8:00 and bowled a turkey with his right hand. He told Donald Trump that a drone strike in South America had killed 4 brazilian people. Because the French had no use for a statue with only one hand in the air. Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome", Over five hundred people were injured by de brie. ...when there was an explosion from one of the engines. The girlfriend leans over to The Red Baron and says, "Baron kiss me!" At that instant, the atheist cried, "God help me!" The Red Baron grabs a bottle of Merlot wine and splashes it on his girlfriends Lips. He opts for the sheerest item, pays the £150 and takes the lingerie home. ", So I went to a woman who could speak with the dead. Knock Knock Who's there? I said 'You're brilliant, what's the band called?'. Startled, the young lady asks, "Well, what did you study in college?" Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! The first guy says, “That’s got to be the worst thing that’s ever happened to you!” The second guy says, “No, actually, this one winter I was up at my hunting shack, and I had to, ~~A Catholic priest, a Buddhist monk, and an atheist walk into a restaurant~~, The Red Baron, a French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend for picnic by the river Seine. I was heading home and I found that my wallet was missing! During World War II, four paratroopers each from England, Scotland, France and the US, were on a plane about to jump when they realized there was only one serviceable parachute. #1. 42 of them, in fact! "What ar, The other day I sent my best mate a text saying, 'Hey Dave, do you fancy coming for a wank along the river? The first, who happens to be a baker, exclaims "Mon amie, what a beautiful sight! Jokes like tying someone’s shoelaces together are as simple as they are uncreative, and a truly tailor-made prank should tell the person being pranked ‘hey - I know you, I understand you, which I can prove by irritating the crap out of you.’ Ucsf Global Health Anesthesia, Chase Sapphire Mortgage, Computer Power Button Does Nothing, Stuffed Banana Peppers Vegan, Bowflex Max Trainer M9, Family Life In Zimbabwe, How To Split String Number In Python, Mallard Machine Ebay, Anni Name Meaning, Stuffed Banana Peppers Vegan, Bianchi Serial Number, "/>

french strike jokes

"They'll have to stay home and have sex with their own wives for a change. The Russians took the English spy, tied and tortured him and after 20 minutes he gave all the info. A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, The issue was when people wanted to go to france and they were in germany, the app sent them through belgium, The leader says "we are going to kill you and then use your skin to line our canoes. A girl saw it and was grossed out. The Red Baron grabs a bottle of Merlot wine and splashes it on his girlfriends Lips. I went bowling with my daughter. The man says “Sorry... One McVodka please!”. But now I have nothing to chauffeur it... Why doesn't lighting always strike in France? She asked, “Why’d you eat that fry? “Well, it keeps the elephants away!” He replied. “But there are no elephants in Paris!” The woman said. Click here for more information. Until you realize that this is common French expression for incomprehension of any sort; albeit a bit exaggerated: “Did you hear that there’s going to be a transport strike next Friday?” – – “Ehhhh?? ", The only thing left at the scene was debrie, He's stopped at customs. People would routinely bring him flattened bread in an attempt to get him to eat. If you call somebody une andouille in French it means they are a dummy. He putts and misses the hole. "If you use that language again, I shall ask the lord to punish you" he says. An American, an Indian, and a Russian got in Hell and plead to the Devil that they don’t belong here. The Devil, bored, makes them an offer: ‟I’ll strike you 3 times with my whip, and if you survive, I’ll let you go. In French, this witty play on words is called « calembour » and it takes a certain level of expertise in the language to be able to pull it off.. Calembours make use of homophony (words that sound the same) to inject humour into regular expressions or even famous sayings. Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." 13 French people can’t or won’t speak English. Scientists decide that sending 3 men to a deserted island for 5 years with no hope of rescue or assistance would be a good indicator. I was at the local Home Depot getting back into my truck where three hot young women came up to me and started rubbing their bodies all over me. Next time I'll just use a bowling ball. A Priest and a Lawyer go golfing. ", and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." ", One night, I was unsure what the meat on my dinner plate was, so I pointed to it and asked in my best 11th-grade French: “Qui est-ce?” The family’s expressions told me I needed some tutoring. Strongly prejudiced against this cold and inhospitable place, he leaves his family behind to relocate temporarily there, with the firm intent to quickly come back. The captain, unknowingly, strikes up a conversation with the chap at dinner: *trust me its too long to be worth reading.*. This French idiom refers to a smoked sausage made from pork. They're sick and tired of making so much money! After a week they were captured and put in jail. They say it has a certain Gen X sais quoi. A man arrives in heaven and St. Peter asks him how he died. You will still be just as single as when you started the movie. Listens well: Has no ideas of his own. upvote downvote report. The Red Baron, a French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend for picnic by the river Seine. Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. A bloke is sitting in the bar at a busy airport. ", The cop approaches and asks “what’s your hurry?”, Eventually, the Americans decided they needed to test their engines tbe same way. None of them, France would surrender and Italy would switch sides. There's an attractive young woman, a plain older woman, a French man and an English man. ", “I must be huntin’ treasure, ’cause I’m diggin’ yer chest.”. 7 Frenchmen are the most romantic people in the world. A Syrian kid and his refugee family move to France. He answered, on my honeymoon I took my wife to France, I go back next week to pick her up. Moses raises his club, the water parts, and the ball makes it to the green. Every scrap will be used including your skin to make a boat. The study took two years and cost over 1.2 million pounds. Alone Soul. The person at the counter says “Sir, this is a McDonalds”. "I froze to death," says the second. When he left the bowling alley, he said, "Next week, I might be five minutes late. The Devil makes a little rule for the woman. White's Moves Play e5 to gain space in the center Again, as in most lines of the French Defense, a good idea for White is always to close the center and gain space with the move e4-e5. –Jay Leno "The Eiffel Tower was evacuated after a suspicious package was found. < > Showing 1-15 of 100 comments . He takes careful aim, swings, and misses. No matter how resilient they made the engines, they always failed. Feb 28, 2015 @ 5:43pm my profile art. ... and the Elysée Palace’s staff was on strike. What people don't understand though is that Gandhi was actually a very temperamental man, and prone to anger. Because lightning strikes the highest object. — Two French women are chitchatting from their opened window in one of those typical big suburban popular buildings. Read more. She went into a trance and, after a few moments, said "I'm communing with your father.". "Strike One!" He moves from table to table chatting up the ladies, but nobody is interested. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Didn’t they just strike last month? The officer asks him, "Name?". French rail workers go on strike as disputes over labour laws spread. A homeless man starts speaking to a young lady in a bar one night. The excited pair walk back through the tree lined boulevards and on the way, Pierre drops in to a shop to purchase a bottle of red wine, a bottle of white wine, a bottle of brandy and a box of matches. A few minutes had passed and the whole trip had been quiet ever since. But when the King of the Czech lands gave his eyewitness, They fish quite happily for a while until the German catches a huge golden fish, but as he plls it off the hook it says ‟Please do not kill me! ... "It is a joke." On his first day of school his teacher asks him "what is your name?". A doctor comes in and says,"I've got some bad news. In this article, I’ll give you a good sample of French jokes for all audience: kids will enjoy them as much as adults. However, they arrived several hours early, and had little to do on Sunday morning while everything was closed. "You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? ", The guy asks him: “So how many of the 7 seas have you sailed?”. The girlfriend leans over to The Red Baron and says, "Baron kiss me!" I thought someone was taking pictures of me masturbating. "It's very uncomfortable at first, you get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. Meticulous in attention to detail: A nitpicker. The cannibal leader steps forward and states ‟It’sn’thing against you men. A guy is sitting in an ER waiting room. "Well isn't he beautiful" Says the bartender. Jokes in French are also a door into French culture. But for some reason, I can only be a spectator. Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again, "I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" There were once four powerful witch covens: the witches of the mountains, the deserts, the forests, and the seas. says the first. Feb 28, 2015 @ 5:42pm Anyone with CSGO Jokes? Britain recomm. The most frequent " ethnic jokes " in France are jokes about Belgians (supposed to be stupid), or about Southerners (supposed to be lazy, in "Marius et Olive" or Corsican stories) or Auvergnats (supposed to be cheap). The psychologist starts: "We lowered underage crime by over 20% in the last year, mostly by introducing counseling courses, and social assistance programs. Following is our collection of Lightning jokes which are very funny. The $20 and the $1 Joke. Two Frenchmen are going for a walk one day, when they happen upon a swimming pool filled entirely to the brim with loaves of bread. One says to the other: “Hey, Ginette, did you see the news at the TV today? It looks like you're not going to make it. We all have been raised cannibals and need to eat. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. The homeless man replies, "I had a major in Biotechnology an. ... Two men are standing at the urinal, doing their business, when one starts to strike up a conversation. Trump : WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE ARE NOT SENDING THE TROOPS???? They all form a superhero trio, and try to stop villains from all over the world. Knock Knock Who's there? Frenc, "As soon as your dates arrive," said the farmer, "I will talk to them personally. The demon said that he is going to eat them. He's standing at the urinal and notices a very short guy at the urinal next to him. The butcher scoffs and is about to throw the note away until he takes another look at the dog, who is now ho. "Excuse me, sir, do you happen to be Jewish?" He ties himself in a knot and messes his hair up. Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. On an unrelated note, there's recently been an increase in the sales of spades. "How'd you die?" For a thousand years they made war with one another, casting curses and hexes and bringing all manner of malady to the land in their hatred for one another. a track suit is le jogging. It concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the man with more pleasure during sex. It is calculated that it will strike France at 2:30 in the morning in two days. A big list of bowling jokes! Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. Two friends are watching the news on the accident. They say the Russians are coming.” U.S. Armed Services recruiting efforts are slipping. The boy then paused a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully. Feb 28, 2015 @ 5:45pm 1. It doesn't matter, he says, just get the fuck out! He sees a group of rough rider lookin' scoundrels playing poker and he musters up enough courage to sit down with 'em (thinkin' he might get a story out if he was lucky). Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome". We thought we would try to share as many with you as possible. Not a desk person: Did not go to college. There was a man in France who drove a train for a living. The driver then started to head to the location designated by the passenger. 8 The French always surrender. "I've got a great policeman joke. The train goes into a tunnel and the lights flicker out. The US military command posted a tweet and press release about a botched airstrike on a Al-Shabaab target in Somalia, saying Al-Shabaab had … Spare my life and I will grant you all a wish!”. Some of the emails were hilarious but this one from a Swiss was a winner. I asked the sales guy “Do you have a PS4” but that idiot kept saying “Wii”, During the pre-dinner small talk, president Truman's wife Bess asks Charles De Gaulle's wife Yvonne, "Now the war is over, what is your greatest wish?". a bowling alley is le bowling. She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book. The butcher, amused, grabs the note and reads it. He is shown several possibilities that range from £50 to £150 in price, the more see-through, the higher the price. They have been blamed for the deaths of millions and have caused significant damage to infrastructure over the years. Hello all, anyone with CSGO jokes? A sudden thought strikes him. They've advertised, offered college money, granted large bonuses to new recruits... all to no avail. He also said that they can wish for any one thing to protect themselves against the whip. When suddenly a cannibal tribe captures them. The Count turned to leap on them, then reeled back, repelled at the reek of garlic that wafted from them like a solid thing. But being in good mood he gave them chance to escape death and go home, should they pass his test: survive three strikes of his whip. There's a triangular lake, with three kingdoms on each side of the triangle. ... Volcano And Lava Jokes. A French public servant from Provence is banished to the far North. ', A priest is playing darts. He walks to the door and sees a golden retriever with a note in its mouth. To which he politely responds, "My name is Abdul and I am from Syria (Middle-East accent)..She abruptly stops him and corrects him. 10 The French always eat gourmet meals. A man walks into a sex shop to purchase smoe see-through lingerie for his wife. Hogarth. The guy next to him is complaining because he has a sliver of metal in his eye. But you can choose how you die. Two American men are touring Europe, and are scheduled to arrive in France Sunday afternoon. ... a French man, a Spanish man and a German man are standing on the sidewalk, trying to watch a street performer juggle bowling pins. Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Her friend asked, "What's the capital of France?". Time Stopped. Some of the best pranks should be artisanal, carefully crafted for the person on the receiving end. Counter-Strike: Global Offensive > General Discussions > Topic Details. They were all hanging at the SuperBase, when an emergency alarm went off. Instead of asking “What is it?” as I had intended, I’d asked “Who is it?”. In the dark, there’s a loud *slap! Two well worn bills arrived at the Federal Reserve Bank to be retired - a twenty and a one. Parton who? As Alfred Hitchcock once said, "puns are the highest form of literature". On average, very large earthquakes strike about once a year. She happily agrees and thus, the contract is sealed. Alone Soul. A man walks up to the counter and says “One vodka please!”. The medical field in 2021 hasn’t been the most hopeful space this year, but if there’s anything that brightens a mood, it’s a corny joke.In addition to being experts in medicine, doctors are also specialists of comfort, which means they always have the best jokes. The farmer drops down in despair. ", An old west dime novel writer is out looking for a good story when he wanders into a saloon. He IS French, people." There’s loads of them”. French teachers who spoke to the ... “What happened during the first lockdown was just an absolute joke: we had nothing to work with. The bear froze. French investigators were baffled by this object for hours. Were Adam and Eve Brits, French or Russian? After months of testing, they gave up and sent for a European engineer to advise on what wad wrong.<, That Saturday, Mr. Johnson arrived at exactly 8:00 and bowled a turkey with his right hand. He told Donald Trump that a drone strike in South America had killed 4 brazilian people. Because the French had no use for a statue with only one hand in the air. Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome", Over five hundred people were injured by de brie. ...when there was an explosion from one of the engines. The girlfriend leans over to The Red Baron and says, "Baron kiss me!" At that instant, the atheist cried, "God help me!" The Red Baron grabs a bottle of Merlot wine and splashes it on his girlfriends Lips. He opts for the sheerest item, pays the £150 and takes the lingerie home. ", So I went to a woman who could speak with the dead. Knock Knock Who's there? I said 'You're brilliant, what's the band called?'. Startled, the young lady asks, "Well, what did you study in college?" Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! The first guy says, “That’s got to be the worst thing that’s ever happened to you!” The second guy says, “No, actually, this one winter I was up at my hunting shack, and I had to, ~~A Catholic priest, a Buddhist monk, and an atheist walk into a restaurant~~, The Red Baron, a French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend for picnic by the river Seine. I was heading home and I found that my wallet was missing! During World War II, four paratroopers each from England, Scotland, France and the US, were on a plane about to jump when they realized there was only one serviceable parachute. #1. 42 of them, in fact! "What ar, The other day I sent my best mate a text saying, 'Hey Dave, do you fancy coming for a wank along the river? The first, who happens to be a baker, exclaims "Mon amie, what a beautiful sight! Jokes like tying someone’s shoelaces together are as simple as they are uncreative, and a truly tailor-made prank should tell the person being pranked ‘hey - I know you, I understand you, which I can prove by irritating the crap out of you.’

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