why is my ex texting me

I hope you can help me understand this… He or she may be after this information consciously or subconsciously, but the truth is that it doesn’t matter. This is why you mustn’t behave in a way that would intend to hurt your ex or deprive him or her of positive emotions. My ex-girlfriend sent me a cute text message. I wouldn’t reply in anger, but even if I reply in a neutral tone and they get what they want, then what is the point from the dumpee perspective in even acknowledging the message, especially if I still desire a possible reconciliation? Thank you for your answer. Understanding the seriousness of your relationship is one of those things that is going to be important for me to determine why he is texting you. Once again, I did not contact him or reply. “My Ex Does Not Contact Me First” I am also thinking that, when she will see my number or (lets say) she will hear my voice she will hang up the phone. again, when logic is in conflict with your emotion, your emotion wins…so build a better you through improving yourself version 2.0. Oftentimes, the dumper is unsure of his or her decision about leaving the dumpee and monkey-branching onto someone new right away. HE wanted to end it, HE found someone else…so…carry on already… In the past week i wrote a list with pro’s and con’s about “why i shoud or not call her”. Today, 2 weeks later , he emails me again…saying , he thought that I would be happy for him and he did the right thing in telling me( as I always requested from the start of our relationship)…he wants to remain friends, as we have do much in common.. Here are a few reasons why your ex continues to send you text messages. I am a very big fan of Zan’s articles and i read them all, some of them i read 3-4-5 times, sometimes just to remember the ideas. Your ex could remember that you used to be his or her emotional, financial, physical, or any kind of support—and send you a sneaky message that requires your recognition. Do a google search for it, or talk to any man over the age of 40. I’d aim for 10 am to 8 pm as your texting window. It’s funny and sad for me because all day i have to talk business problems with peoples at job (and i am very good at it) but i dont know what to talk with her (if i decide to do it). He or she is not over you after a break up. She was calling me often, saying I’m very important for her, we’ve had some flirt at times, she told me sometimes she wants to hug me – but only as goddamned friend, and she was angry anytime I said anything about relationship. How To Act Around Your Ex Who Dumped You? One of my dearest exes sent me such a heartfelt message inquiring about my safety and my family’s health that I nearly cried when I read it. Armstrong warns, "Texting your ex in the morning or late at night is something I would not advise. By observing your thoughts, feelings, and the way you react to his or her outreach—your ex is able to transform his or her obtained knowledge into strength. This means that he is “fishing”, and testing the waters to see if you will bite. That you still have hope that some day you are going back together? Your ex instead thinks that what he or she feels—you feel as well. Zan writes in a very straightforward, easy-to-understand way. Why is my girlfriend texting her ex? Send a few more messages, and then go back to no-contact. When your ex girlfriend keeps reaching out to you, it means you are still on her mind. She wants to stay in touch with her ex and doesn’t want to cut him out of her life just because they’re no longer a couple. Two weeks later he contacted me again, saying he didnt expect a reply, but it was a bittersweet goodbye. Take a few days off from texting them. So, my best friend texted me and told me that someone is going to see her. But as soon as he starts to slip, your ex girlfriend is going to start looking for backup plans. I help over 1 million men a year build long-term, masculine happiness after being dumped. two months later, my ex suddenly reached out by texting me and asked me where I am now. I already knew…but I decided , that was it. No longer do they feel smothered or angry at their dumpee for the end of the relationship. ignoring her initially can drive up your value, Learn What Her Texts REALLY Mean For Your Chances Of Getting Her Back. Your ex doesn’t want you to fight for him or her like in some Hollywood movie. Prioritize your recovery, you will get plenty of chances. If you’re reading this article, it would mean you either had no conclusion to the various questions that popped into your head, or you still have completely no idea why he has been contacting you. As her relationship continues to go south with her boyfriend, she will likely reach out and give you another shot when you’re more ready. But the problem with this is that as long as the breakup is one-sided (not mutual,) the ex-couple continuously craves exactly the opposite emotions. Your ex is breadcrumbing you for his or her own sake—and currently doesn’t want you back. I recommend that you take some time to search through them before you hurt yourself worse than you already are. So I asked “who?”. The dumper expects to live life without the dumpee and eventually—with someone else while the dumpee yearns for the dumper’s attention and wants him or her back. Could it be that he wants me … Texting your ex can be comforting when you're lonely, but it's not always sustainable. They are the worst. The company tryed to hire me last year but i decline the offer because of her and our plans. When they get bored of the constant inflow of men, they text their ex. So another question i have for myself (and also for you if it’s possible) is how to reach her out (via call fron the beginning or 1st via text) ? The reason for this is because people who keep finding their way back into the life of the other are the ones who have staying power as a couple. I haven’t take a final decision about this call but i intend to do it in 2-3 weeks. If you continue to engage for too long after she rejects your date, she will quickly realize that she can set you up to give her attention without her having to do anything else in return. Really, it was more like he broke up with me and refused to attempt to work things out. Or I just have to leave it be? I simply told him in an ironic way that that is not his business anymore, plus, his gf has announced that we are nor friends, neither do I see the point that he reached out to me as he degraded our relationship so much. Especially the high drama ones. . Don’t get too excited though, for now, she’s just fishing. At this early stage, she’s not looking to make a move yet. In some cases, however, an ex might text to rekindle the relationship. Your ex will validate himself or herself and probably stay out of sight until he or she needs something from you again. That suggests a lot of potential for a future relationship that lasts. This type of messaging means nothing to him and therefore, by default, … I AM SO HAPPY THAT HE IS FINALLY OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!! The most common reason why an ex messages is because they miss you or want to just see how you are. Avoid telling your ex that you’re miserable and that you have high hopes for reconciliation. If you’re the dumpee (the person who got dumped) and you’re wondering, “Why is my ex texting me,” I can tell you that it’s got more to do with your ex than it does with you. As a person who believes he or she was wronged, the dumper has the strength to always find a way to justify his or her reasons for leaving the dumpee and empower himself or herself. So try not to get your hopes up the moment your ex sends you the first text after the no contact rule. Good-morning texts … It can be a reason behind your ex texting you after breaking up with you. Your ex could have no one else to talk to and might only be texting you out of familiarity to fill his or her time with you. You probably used to be the turn-to person to your ex, so your ex still thinks you’re reliable at least to some degree. ???????? Otherwise, you’ll get at least 1 text from her after you guys break up, and chances are, many more. As a result, the dumper puts his or her dumpee on the backburner and gives him or her minimum attention—just enough to keep the dumpee hooked and himself or herself content, guilt-free. She’s basically texting him to remain friends with him—and that’s completely fine. I know its tough but hang in there, you can do it. Your ex doesn’t want to feel guilty for breaking your heart. Your stomach drops, your heart starts beating faster, your palms get sweaty. She won’t call me even if she want me back, i won’t call her cause of the rule of “no contact”. At least my ex keeps texting me, so it’s not all bad. It turned out that he had vengeance against me. With time and a little bit of hard work, you will get better. They want to know if you feel any resentment towards them that makes you block their numbers. Hi Here are seven possible reasons your ex keeps texting you out of the blue, then doesn't reply and disappears again. “Meeting Up with an Ex can Backfire” You were in fact thinking of the two ideas that I had mentioned above but your ex is getting back in touch with you for sincere reasons. Women are shameless about this. She got hired in the same company where i curently work and quit with no word after 3.5 months. As I stated in the article, the best thing for you to do is to be mature. It Takes Time, Be Patient & Enjoy The Ride. This feedback can be positive, negative, or neutral. In other words, she’s texting you because it does something to serve her. Leave your thoughts by commenting below. One of the reasons why your ex texts you after the breakup is that you’re the backup plan. And what your ex wants is a permanent truce – friendship. She must feel something for me, even if right now she says she doesn’t want me back. They become genuinely happy that their suffocating relationship has ended and feel that they’ve made the right decision. From just wasting your time, to more extreme cases where she’ll get closer to actually straying from her boyfriend. But … We text once in a while. If she dont want to hear again from me, i will heal faster and i will STOP having false hopes and illusions. Does My Ex Want Me Back if She Keeps Texting Me? Most men don’t know how to keep women attracted to them in the long term. What do you think? It’s possible that your ex is texting you because your ex is curious about what or who gave you the strength to stay away from him or her. Don’t text them too late at night or early in the morning. So she’ll reach out, hoping you’ll tell her (either directly or indirectly) how great she is. He lied to me about moving on and hooking up with a new girl. My ex and I broke up in the beginning of September and have dated for 1 year. “How to Become the Best Version of Yourself”. Keep your head up and keep your heart open to something new. She was shocked, and asked me if I’m serious. I'm trying to delete the phonenumber but won't let me. My ex texted me many months after going indefinite NC. So don’t think that your ex will come back if he or she sent you a breadcrumb or two. Thanks for reading my story! Public service announcement incoming gentlemen. Your goal is to get her to agree to a date, ideally at your place. Women will never admit it, but they love it. I had a doubt about his intentions were hostile. I feel your pain brother. Every outreach—whether it’s a call, a text, or a letter has a purpose. “Indefinite No Contact” I highly recommend that you either search the topics I included below (cut and past) or simply click on the “breakup” category located at the top right of this blog. Having two men on tap feeds them an endless supply of validation. She said my ex David. One of my flaws as a human being is the fact … Self-esteem? Because the reason why i got sick it’s mostly based on stress and also on anger and all those bad mixed feelings about my relationship and about her, I am considering to have a discussion with her to end the story for good and to get rid of stress and pain. They blatantly reach out to their long-forgotten dumpee and lean on him or her for validation and support. Why would he do this? It is a very common attempt to get back to the ex. I was surprised because I thought he did not want to talk about the relationship. Now in her mind, because she’s still taken, it would be wrong to start something with a new guy. Any advice would be great. How To Tell Your Ex To Stop Texting You Nicely? Sometimes, if a woman feels bitter about her break up with a guy (e.g. What shoud i do? So unless your ex specifically told you that he or she wants to get back together with you, you’re far better off not questioning your ex’s motives and his or her love for you. This happens over time to almost all men. I’ve read many stories and watched it happen to men in my social circle. Sometimes he’ll be doing really well and you won’t hear from her. She wanted to stay friends. Here's how to break your addiction and start feeling better right now. If she doesn’t agree to a date, it’s best to back off and end the conversation. Their relief, ego, validation, thoughts, and hatred rewind back to their neutral state—so they, in essence, become vulnerable to external conditions again. As for dumpees’ cold behavior, dumpers can simply tell themselves that their ex is rude and that they’ve made the right choice for leaving their partner. Seeing your ex’s name pop up on your phone can produce a visceral reaction, like the one Glantz mentioned above. This is good to know in order to keep emotions and expectations in check. If you’re inclined to think your ex is texting you because she’s interested, you’re right. Generally, this is the best approach anyway. Again, this is her positioning herself just in case her boyfriend keeps slipping. The same is true if you’re not emotionally on the same page. Kind regards, I don’t know what she is thinking and i keep having questions (as you can see i have now) and i can’t focus on anything. On long term you will heal faster. So, those are our four factors. What To Do When You’re Still In Love With Your Ex? So does the act of texting you mean your ex girlfriend wants to get back together? The other day he said something about how we used to love going to this coffee place. A good rule to live by is that people only act in their own self-interest. I in the end simply didn’t reply any message or phone call from my ex. You might also be wondering why! Especially not if your ex is continuously appearing and disappearing like a magician and only seems to message you for holidays, birthdays, or when he or she needs something from you. Of all things, watching Tom Brady win his 7th Superbowl last night got me thinking. He ended our 3.5 years relationship over the phone because he said it was too hard to see me in person. What shoud i say to her? Everybody on this site struggles with pain, anger, and depression, but I am sure most of us, with Zan’s guidance, find a way (along with time and distance), to ultimately triumph over our breakups (or, at least, I hope we all do). When a woman starts losing attraction to her boyfriend, she’ll seek out other men to give her validation. So your ex decides to make sure her exit strategy is well in hand just in case he gets worse. You deserve to be happy, so why aren't you right now? Correct me if I’m wrong but that should have been the case; otherwise, you would know exactly why he’s contacting you (to ask for a second chance). Thanks for this post, but i do have a question. I don't want to get back to him. Pride? Only you are responsible for your happiness, and only you can get closure from yourself. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window), My Girlfriend Is Texting Her Ex-boyfriend. →, My Ex Broke Up With Me Because Of Religious Differences, My Ex Unblocked Me But Hasn’t Reached Out. She wants to get emotional revenge on you for how badly you treated her or made her feel during the relationship.

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